Learning through experience and error

Ode To Separation

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A song plays in the background as it reminds me of Love. Love, however, left a while ago. Love left as quickly as it entered the room. Separation, however, stayed.

I realised I had been unfair when I awarded Love with laurels and accolades. I realised I had been unfair when I wrote and listened to ballads and plays about Love and its strength.

It was Separation who deserved it all. It wasn’t until tonight when this song started to play in the background that I really looked at Separation sitting right in the corner. Love, as always, isn’t in the room.

Is it naive to say Separation is better than Love? I know it sounds preposterous for we’ve been told time and again of the power of Love. Why do I think so? It’s simple, really. Separation is always here to comfort me, even when Love leaves–especially when Love leaves.

All Love needs is an excuse – a heartbreak, a death in the family, a friendship gone wrong, a war inside my head – but Separation keeps standing in the corner. “I’m here now, like always,” it whispers, “you got to stay strong, bub.”

Separation picks me up from the rubble and dusts my clothes off. Then, it holds my shoulders, looks me in the eye, and says the same thing. So, I do what it asks me to do. I stay strong. I go on another day. Then, another.

As I spend days, Separation whispers in my ear all the things I never wanted to hear. It does so knowingly; it does so knowing I will hate it; it does so knowing I will despise it. Then, it continues to do it because I need it.

If it weren’t for Separation, I wouldn’t let Love enter my life again. In that way, there is no Love without Separation but then, Love gets all the credit. Separation just stands there, telling me to look at myself in the mirror and see that I’m fine. It lies; it knows I need it; it knows I know.

Separation does so much and yet, no one looks at it with the eyes they look at Love. They look at Love with love and yet, they look at Separation with disgust. They say it is the most undesirable feeling in the world. They curse it. Separation still sits boldly in the corner and it never gives up on you. It’s funny how stubborn it can get at times.

When you turned your life around when Love left you gave it credit for making you see things you never knew about yourself. Yet, it was Separation who showed you those things. You must’ve forgotten but Love had left. It wasn’t there; Separation was.

When you bounced back from that terrible accident you said you had Love. You didn’t. Love was the only thing you didn’t have. Love had left. You had Separation though, and Separation had your back.

The song still plays in the background. It has taken to a melancholy piano piece now, and I miss Love. Yet, Love isn’t in the room. Like always, Love left when I wanted it to stay. However, as always, Separation is sitting right in the corner as I feel the ever-present gut-wrenching sensation that Love makes me feel as it walks out the door.

Separation is looking at me and it is smiling. I can’t help but chuckle as I hear it lie to me again. “You’re alright, bub,” it says as it looks me in the eye. “I’m here. You’re not alone. Love will be back before you know it.”

I look at it lie to me to save me, and as it smiles at me selflessly, I fall in love with it.



 

About the author

Deepansh Khurana

Blogger and writer from Dehradun, India. I'd say I love coffee but don't we all? I find stories, people and experiences. I blog about them.

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Learning through experience and error

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There are two kinds of blog posts here as of mid-2018 – The Journal and The Words.

The Journals are thoughts, lessons, events that unfold in my life word-for-word and as barebones as I can put them out there.

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Deepansh Khurana

Blogger and writer from Dehradun, India. I'd say I love coffee but don't we all? I find stories, people and experiences. I blog about them.

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