This is a touchy subject. I can imagine the kind of ridicule I might receive for even sparking this topic. Dank forever alone memes incoming from friends and family. I don’t mind them though for this might help someone and that’s all I care about. More than often we feel alone, surrounded by people yet alone. We ignore the ones around us for a variety of reasons. Maybe someone hurt you or said some things that shouldn’t have been said. Maybe you suffer from the common deadlock of unrequited love. Maybe you lost your trust in people. Maybe, perhaps, you just want to be alone for a while. It’s alright. I’ve been there and I know of at least one way that helps you not feel lonely even if you’re alone – take yourself out for a hangout.
It’s hard. It’s ridiculous. At least it sounds like that for sure. A date consists of two, so does a clap or a handshake. How then can a person take themselves out to lunch or to the mall? Well, it’s easier when you do it and stop thinking about it so much. Let’s take my day, today for example. I had planned a hangout with my cousin but he had to go back to our hometown which is perfectly fine. However, I was left with no plans and there’s this thing I do where I think everyone is busy and no one would have time to hangout with me so I planned to literally Netflix and chill by myself for the weekend. After two episodes of two different shows, I got a little too bored though. Maybe it’s something about staying by yourself in a room, I don’t like it anymore. So, with an impulse I packed my laptop and shoved it into the cupboard. I changed into a decent pair and went out – to the mall – all by myself. At first, it was confusing. There haven’t been many times I’ve done this but I have and it’s always felt this way. I still remember when I watched Foxcatcher (2014) by myself because I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to watch that movie.
So, I reached the mall and after I was a bit comfortable with the idea. I started to look around for the crowds of people. It was surprising that by 12:00 PM, over 2000 people had already walked into (and out) the mall. At least that’s what the security check display showed. Anyway, on to the main topic. I decided to eat something first. So, I treated myself with a good ol’ meal there. I sat for a while after eating and watched people talk, roam around. It was almost cinematic barring the fact that there was no soundtrack playing behind me. Oh how I miss Hans Zimmer in moments like that one.
After I was done eating and watching people, I roamed around the mall a bit. A little window-shopping didn’t hurt anyone and as a friend told me today, “It’s perfectly alright to enter and leave a store without buying something.” Trust me that is indeed a big piece of wisdom to those of us who are a wee bit shy. After a few minutes of moving up and down escalators, a thought occurred to me. Roaming around with a coffee in your hand looks better. So, there I went treating myself with a café latte. Also, Doughnuts don’t hurt either and it had been a while since I had one so you know how that went. After that, I roamed a bit more. Watching people, observing little moments in that cocktail of busy-ness. It’s funny how in between all that walking, all that murmur there lies this feeling of peace. You just have to look past the chaos to see that beauty.
So, before I knew I had spent a couple of hours already and it had been fun albeit not the de facto definition of fun but I wasn’t bored for a bit which is fun enough. After I reached back to the campus, I was like, should I go back to the room yet? No was the answer I got and thus, I went to chill in the usual spot. The campus ground. But it was sunny so I went to the grass gardens behind the field and sat there for another hour or so. Favourite tracks in earphones, quiet world around and a very friendly dog by my side. It was relaxing which as far as I remember is what weekends were meant to be, relaxing.
After doing all that and getting down from that little place of peace, I came back and took a shower. While I did sit down to watch another episode of another show, I thought to myself, “Today was good. Way better than most busy days. This is worth sharing”, and there I was, typing this post.