Living for a year in a hostel certainly changes your perspective on things and this post is about just that. There are some things that if taken out of context would be pretty weird but are completely normal in a boys’ hostel. This article is about those things. It’s a listicle really so you can either skim the headings or read. I’d rather you read but whatever floats your boat.
1. Everyone Is A Singer, At Some Point, Even You
Everyone is a singer in a boys’ hostel. If not suffering from the chronic ailment of singing with coarse and not-so-melodious voices, you’re still bound to have sung at least once. A morning is only normal, when you hear at least two people singing in the bathroom. No afternoon is complete until you see that guy who’s walking while mumbling his favourite song. No evening is great till you see someone singing one chorus repetitively and irritatingly so. Lastly, there’s the guy who’s always singing because it’s his passion and he’s pretty good at it. With all of that singing around you, don’t be alarmed when you catch yourself singing some song you heard back in 8th grade only to stop abruptly after realising how horrible you sound.
2. Roaming Around In Boxers Is Cool With Everyone
Again, doing this in some public area would be disgraceful, if not insulting. That’s not the case in the hostel though, more than half of the gentry wears nothing but boxers and it’s perfectly cool with everyone. We’re all guys, right?
3. The Birthday Celebrations Are Absurd
Birthdays are celebrated everywhere but in a hostel, there are weird rituals for birthday celebrations. It’s almost barbaric. No, in fact it is barbaric. Imagine going to the washroom at 12:30 AM and finding this guy who’s getting cake shoved in all places possible while getting birthday bombs as they call it. Not only that, but you’re asked to give another bomb to the already broken guy or you’re going to be next. That’s just… standing between a rock and a hard place.
4. Imagine Monkeys In A Cage, Imagine Them Screaming
Now apply those sounds to a dark, hostel building where everyone is screaming. Why? Nobody knows. Some guy on the third floor must’ve started it and like rabies, it’s viral with monkeys. Within a few minutes, everyone is out of their rooms, screaming and shouting and hooting till the warden comes and commands them to stop in his very carefully crafted baritone voice.
5. Sports Fans Unite And It’s Almost Perfect
India vs <insert team here> and it’s almost surreal watching people crazily scream in front of that TV screen. Standing, sitting, lying down, all together in that one little picture. It’s almost perfect watching these people watch the game. I’m not much into sports though so I’m usually the guy watching them and later mentioning them in a blog post.
6. The Bathroom Experience And That One Guy, Everyday
If you have ever watched the 2009 movie, 3 Idiots, you know exactly what a bathroom looks like in a boys’ hostel. It’s a lot of people in a very small space, waiting for their turn. The bathroom experience is irritating and great at the same time. It’s crowded. It’s a race to get in the queue first. You’d find yourself brushing teeth with five other people and everyone else is staring at that open bathroom door because whoever finishes first gets to it and in that moment everything goes extreme because now you’re looking at each other and making eye contact and literally racing to brush your teeth first. It’s all very funny in hindsight but it’s goddamn serious when it’s happening. Then there’s the guy who always brings speakers, or the guy who won’t stop singing, or the guy who has a problem with the singing, or the guy who knocks on the doors constantly because he’s late – in shorter words, there is always a guy, every morning.
7. That Monthly Brawl
What’s a cave without savages brawling? Every month, there happens a fight. Now, it’s either extreme where people are bleeding and are later suspended or almost suspended or it’s funny where things end even before they start but there are fights and they do happen because leave a few men in a cage and they have nothing better to do.
8. The Dirty Poopers Are Here And They Won’t Stop
Yeah, this is downright disgusting. Half the people in a boys’ hostel do not know how to use a washroom or that you’re supposed to flush things after you’re done. So, un-flushed shit is what you see before you get down to do yours. You flush for the person before you and for the person after you and that cycle never stops.
9. That Late-Night Knocker Who Wants Something
It’s food or after-shave or something. There is always a guy who wants something in the middle of the night because it’s life and death and you have actually cater to their needs. Mostly. It’s a feeling of infinite give and no take to some. To some, it’s their routine.
10. Those Guys You’ve Literally Never Seen Before
It’s pretty shocking to see someone who you’ve never seen before even though it’s a year since you’ve lived in the same building together. You know some people, you’re friends with some, you on a greet-only basis with some, you know a lot of faces that have never talked to you but this person, where’d he drop from and how have I never seen him before is a wonderful and puzzling experience.
So, these are the 10 things I found very, very absurd after spending time in a boys’ hostel. Here is a picture of my hostel for fun.
What are your thoughts? Have you experienced something similar during your stay in a hostel? Post it all in the comments!