It’s 20th January already so the New Year cheer should have already disappeared but since this is a personal blog, let’s go for a New Year roundup because I really did skip it this time around in my advents of laziness and better late than never is something I have recently started believing in. Here goes, 5 instances in 2015 where my life changed for good.
1. Repercussions of Dropping Out of College
You know those movies, books and stories where people tell you to do what you love and you end up doing it only to leave it because it’s too demanding and then decide to sit at home for the next few months. Well, everyone tells you how awesome it is while no one ever shares how depressing it can be when life goes forward, people go forward, things go forward but you’re just sitting there, gaming all day long. Dropping out has repercussions, you realise the fact that every decision gives consequences; said consequences can be good or bad and that’s irrelevant here. However, since I’ve spent 6 months of life where I had nothing to look forward to in the following morning, I now know the importance of having something to look forward to and that is something I had never had in me. So, it was a welcome change that made me a lot more focused than I have always been.
2. Leaving Dehradun for Higher Education
While I have previously argued for and against leaving your city and eventually also giving a comparison about how both decisions have something to give you, I still vouch for leaving your surroundings unless you live somewhere where the education is unparalleled. The prime reason for that is because I’ve rowed both boats and I know how different my experiences have been. Since the day I left Dehradun for the interview procedures to the day where I’m typing this blog post from my Hostel room, I’ve not regretted leaving the city even once. Yes, you miss your parents and your home and your dog but that also increases their importance by a large factor. The fact that you don’t see them everyday makes you long for the weekend where you finally get to go home or the festival where you get a week full of holidays.
Your old life isn’t coming back where you could just sleep at home knowing that you’ll wake up exactly in the same place. You’ve had over 16 years of that and now it’s over. It was a phase of your life and now you’re making memories with new people, new places. You’re adjusting with everything – the kind of food you eat, the kind of food you do not like, the kind of place you want your room to be, the kind of place your roommate wants your room to be and so much more. From washing your own undergarments to making your travel arrangements yourself, when you’re given the responsibility of doing stuff that otherwise would’ve been handled by someone else, you become complete as a person.
3. Trips : Agra and Mumbai
When you’re making the first trip of your life that is self-planned, you’re expecting to come across some very wonky moments where you have no clue what’s going to happen to you but nothing compares to the night when two 18-something teenagers are left on an empty highway by their bus because the driver forgot the passenger headcount. That’s how my trip to Agra began. Just me and my friend, all alone, at 9:00 PM on one of the most dangerous expressways in North India. Upon ultimately reaching Agra, somehow (story for another day) we only realised that the troubles had just begun. The trip to Agra was fun, it was different and when I finally came back, I had all these stories to tell and at the same time, the realisation – if you’re alive to tell it, it’s a story else it’s an accident.
The second trip that I made was to Mumbai which had a lot of “…I’m doing this for the first time…” moments. Travelling so far from home for the first time, using air travel for the first time, going completely alone in a completely new city alone, making travel arrangements alone, meeting a crowd and handling yourself alone and so many more that have managed to elude my memory by now. Not to mention, I had a curious case of diarrhea due to overconsumption of caffeine in the weeks before I was leaving for Mumbai. It added to the adventure, honestly. BNLF by Indiblogger which stands for Blog Now, Live Forever was the event I had to attend in Mumbai and the event was a wonderful experience in itself. As a blogger, BNLF was one hell of an experience (more on that later too). I got to shake hands with Bruce “Air Raid Siren” Dickinson so that was a once in a lifetime moment. I made a lot of friends and managed to introduce myself to 35 new people (yes, I kept count) some of whom I’m still in touch with. Not to mention the handling yourself in a new city part. It was all worthwhile and thus, I fulfilled my dream of travelling solo at least once before I die and that did in fact create an insatiable desire to travel more but first things first.
4. Losing the Need to Have the Last Word
As someone who had the reputation for getting into arguments (and winning most of them) when he was in school, I had quite the superiority complex. The biggest manifestation of which was the need to have the last word. For years I’ve been the guy who would have the last word. Even in a normal text message conversation, I would try to be the one who said “Bye” in the end. Yes, it had crept that much into me as a person. The situation was as dire as Watson described Sherlock in the popular TV series, “He’ll outlive God trying to have the last word.” However, all of that changed for some reason. One day, out of the blue, I just decided to not have the last word and since then, I’ve lost not only the need to have the last word rather also that pathological Gregory House’ like need to get into and win arguments. I’ve finally become the person who’d rather keep his opinion to himself than present it to a crowd and get into a situation which leads nowhere besides a few people not talking to each other. I do get into arguments based on technology with my college friends though but that’s because we are indeed students studying computer science. We’re bound to be correct there.
5. Becoming ‘Positively Selfish’
Ever been in a situation where you’re doing everything for everyone in every instance of your every day and they just don’t acknowledge you in the right way? Not to mention the situation where you see through people like you’d through glass and they still won’t stop pretending. Ever been the ‘favour guy’ wherever you go? The guy everyone would abuse for favours because he was trying too hard to help everyone. I used to be that guy when I entered into 2015. By the time I left 2015, I was selfish and positive. Now that sounds like an oxymoron and because it is, how can someone be selfish and positive, right? That’s where the realisation comes in. People are overrated and so is being the guy who’s friends with everyone.
I was always trying my best to help people who I forgot to distance myself from as well as some things that do not have the right effect on me as a person and lately I’ve realised that some people and things are better if you wave at them from the other side of the river. Along with that, I’ve finally learned to say ‘No’ to random requests from the random friend of the random person who went to school with me because to be honest, who has the time and attention span to care? We’re all social creatures but as someone who has primarily disliked people from the start, I have sure tried my best to be around a lot of them. It was high time that changed and by the end of 2015, I somehow managed to do that. Distancing myself from everything toxic in my life and finally getting some things right.
The result? I’m happier, calmer, at peace and still doing what I used to do. The difference being that I don’t have to try hard to be accepted and the need to do that has gone. Like me? Great. No? Okay. There is not in between now and that’s how I plan to keep it. Also, I stopped opening up to any or all people and became very concealed about what really goes inside me and my life and that’s a good thing. No one wants to be the topic of ridicule and drama in their peer group so I stopped being just that. I don’t say ‘No’ to all favours but I have this three-point rule I came up with, I’ll just put it here if you and I relate on this one. It might help you.
- Always have a side that no one knows of. The more public about your thoughts you are, the more chance of you being the subject of ridicule, casual humour and other things that would disturb your mental peace.
- Be scarce – resources are only thought about once they are not always available. Even humans realised how important fossil fuels were when they had almost run out of reserves.
- You aren’t obligated to do anything. Don’t like the way someone talks to you, stop talking to them altogether. Stop taking bullets for people who won’t take you to the hospital after you’ve touched the ground.
These three points are actually saved on my Google Keep and I do look at them every couple of days or so. It keeps me aligned and at peace.
So, that concludes the post. 2015 was one of the best years of my life after a lot of years that weren’t as good and I’m really grateful for that. Here’s hoping 2016 would turn out to be better, at least I’m positive enough now to focus on the good parts.