I’ll begin by being straightforward, the idea for this post has been in my head since a year now but I just could not get down to writing it until today. There are a few things in life and basically around the idea of morality and how we’re supposed to act which aren’t right or wrong for anyone and the definition varies. There are very fine lines separating a few of these things and I’ve realised that I walk those fine lines for some reason. I get into way more arguments and heated conversations than others and no matter what lifestyle change I make, I always end up in that situation and I can’t separate it from myself. It’s a part of my personality now. It’s not like I am a jerk or anything but I guess people are impatient enough to assume that I’m trying to enforce my views or something on them. It’s not like that, it’s just that at times, accepting you are wrong would do everyone a little good. I learned this the hard way but the thing is it goes both ways. If you have your opinion and you can “I’ll say whatever I want” me, then I can do the same to you with the same sense of entitlement, in which case, I’ll still be called a jerk for some unknown reason. Without further ado, here are the three Fine Lines I Walk on Everyday.
Sharing Your Opinion v Enforcing It
I’m the kind of guy who has something to say about everything and I can’t help it. If you’re wrong or just maybe slightly off the correct scale, I will say something. If you’re being a pseudo-feminist such as, I can’t resist the feeling to put you down. I just can’t but at the same time, I gave you my opinion, instead of being offended just go along with it, maybe it might turn into a today I learned moment for both of us but no, you just have to go along, pointing out how I just can’t resist enforcing my views on everyone and now you’ve ticked me off and we’re on because one, you were wrong in the first place and now, in your naïvety, you got offended enough to claim that I enforced my views on you. This leads to more problems with friends and in the end, they all get offended but as Linus Torvalds said,
“…people who get offended, should be offended.”
Describing People v Judging Them
See, if you’re irresponsible and party and do nothing else and if someone, be it me or anyone else, points it out. Why are you getting offended? It’s not like I’m saying stop doing that. All we’re saying is you do that and you actually do all that so what’s the point of being angry and calling others judgemental pricks. As long as no one has a problem with what you’re doing, they aren’t judging you. They’re describing you. Or maybe on a deeper level, you hate the person you are and when someone points it out or just says you do what you do, your inner conscience awakens. Whatever the case may be, you can’t blame someone for keeping in account the way you act or the work you do or the person you are because you are and do all of those things. It’s not like they are saying stop doing it because I hate it neither are they going on about giving you advice nor are they expecting you to change. You’re not taking responsibility for whatever you do and calling the other guy judgemental – makes sense.
Exchange of Views/Discussion v Debate/Fight
This one makes me cringe more than anything else. The world and people all around are so impatient now that when someone shares something on say, a Whatsapp group, you’re not supposed to say anything besides sending the customary and appropriate emoticon and/or abbreviation because as soon as you say a word or sentence more, you’ll be shamed and pointed out or even exiled from the group in extreme cases because you always start fights. See, the problem here is that this person had something to say about the thing, whatever it was. Now, just because you don’t have the time, attention or patience to read, understand and acknowledge my opinion, that does not mean that I’m starting a fight but now that you’ve spelled out something I hate to read because you just assumed something without me actually doing it, I am angry and let’s fight because why be blamed for something you didn’t do. Do it, cross the fine line and then get blamed instead.
In conclusion, it’s not like I can’t make friends or I’m anti-social. I make friends everywhere I go but I’m not a very good people pleaser and I say what I feel is right, when I feel is right because I have a brain and I like to use it. So, it’s like no matter how much I change myself, these few fine lines will continue to be below my feet and I’ll have to cross them because many of you assume that I already cross them so now that that’s been established, why the hell not?
Have you ever been in a similar situation or do you have some kind of input to give me or just have anything else to say, hit the comments below. Thanks for reading! 🙂