One struggle our society has had since the oldest times is “Can one human feel what the other is feeling?” and for that we’ve found countless workarounds some being natural, gifted ways like love and affection which catalyse the process of feeling what the other is feeling; others are artificial ways like hieroglyphs in the old times and emoticons and emojis today. But when we use the above methods we’re only scratching the surface, the struggle of trying to go through what someone feels is filled with umpteen challenges.
We’ve had religion and even leaders talk about how one must learn to feel what the other is feeling and how it would help us coexist as human beings. Over the last few weeks, I’ve started trying my hand at this, trying to put myself in someone’s shoes and thinking what they think, feel what they feel. I won’t be telling the truth if I said I succeeded but I must say, I have gotten pretty close because its showing results. Call it another experiment by Deepansh Khurana on the humans around him.
Since the last few years, I have had an habit of analysing (not Sherlock style, a little weaker) people and what they do to reveal things they’d want, like or expect thus giving to me a little know-how of how to approach them. I must say I am quite adept at it now because it’s mostly 80-90% correct and helps me build stronger bonds with people but there comes a catch, there is a lot of assumption about their lives which I now believe is wrong. You cannot put 7 billion people in generalised categories with equal percentages of that factor. Yes, you can put them in a generalisation but the percentages of their attributes may differ and in fact, usually, they do.
So, I figured that if you cannot put all people under the same set of categories, you can’t actually predict what they want or need or how they’ll act instead when you do get to know someone, you can talk to them and slowly get to know them. When done, you’ll be presented with their views, opinions, they might be mad at you at times too; when that happens, instead of acting impulsively, you should take a breath and see what they see, feel what they feel. If they are mad at you, look at it from their perspective and that is you empathising with someone. The above is just an illustration, there are more deeper times than the ones I’ve mentioned.
When you learn to do this, to feel what others feel, even if it isn’t a 100% perfect attempt, you’ll still avoid a lot of arguments and pesky situations and when that happens, you’ll know and be proud that for once you weren’t judgemental. I think that with trying more desperately, I can get perfect at this and I think to try and empathise with others is something all of us must do. On this, I quote,
“If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.” – Marvin J. Ashton