I know I had cursed Dominos in the past and I had also pledged that I won’t ever order from there again, but I did today and as usual the experience wasn’t what you’d call – a sane one.
I tried ordering a pizza online at first given my lack of short talk and evasion of phone calls but every time I clicked Authenticate via IVR it redirected me to choose a pizza and well, I gave up on that. Then I picked up the phone and did something that I would almost ever avoid, placed a call. I ordered the pizza and everything went fine and while I waited for my pizza I decided to read Dominos’ new terms and conditions about their 30 Minute Guarantee on their website which enlightened me to the fact that Dominos has apparently stopped charging their delivery boys if they are late for a delivery which made me pretty excited because the only reason we used to refrain from asking for a free pizza was that very belief of the poor guy’s salary being cut.
So this guy finally calls and a minute later shows up near my house and I wave to him like a lone survivor on an isolated island, the desperation. He comes and hands me the pizza, I hand him the payment and well, it should have ended right there but as it was me purchasing from Dominos there was always something that made the process bizarre and then it happened.
“Sir can you place a call? I mean do you have enough balance?”, asked the man whose name I apparently forgot to read. “Yeah”, I said “thinking he had some kind of an emergency issue.”
“So, after I leave from that moment to about 30 minutes later can you call the store and tell them that the pizza was delivered late.” he blatantly put his request.
Startled by this weird request I asked, “Why?” to which he answered along with an expression and sudden change in body language like that of the average person trying to con you, “See, if you do that we have a discount policy and you will get a Rs. 100 off out of the amount you paid.” (Which was Rs. 350)
I was clueless at first and I asked him mockingly, “Sir, if that was the case why didn’t you bring the pizza 5 minutes late itself?” The answer he gave them gave him away, “Sir if that would have happened, this conversation wouldn’t be there.”
It suddenly struck me. If the pizza is informed as a late delivery to the store, then according to the store it’s free of cost and a tragic loss. But at the same time I’m actually paying for it and getting a stupid 100 bucks off but the pizza is free so I wouldn’t have to pay for it at all but by this staged conversation this man is basically trying to earn some extra pocket change as nothing goes from his salary and the pizza which was supposed to be free won’t be free for me i.e. the customer. The store wouldn’t question anyone. He would have earned 250 bucks for free.
“Sir, I am unwilling to place a call like that and I see that you have a few more deliveries left to do, so you could ask the next house if they’d do it but apologies, I won’t.” I said to him to which I heard him say, “Okay.” in such a feeble voice that would have gone unnoticed if I had walked a little faster.
So, that was another bizarre experience I had with Dominos. sigh Why me? Always?