Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage? When I was a little kid, my parents and extended family mocked me more than once with this question and I would always answer, “Love-Arranged”. Now that I think of it, I guess that is what exactly exists in our society. That is, in the modern Indian society we can neither have a complete Love Marriage nor a sole Arranged Marriage and not just in India but in any country, the scenario is the same. You need Arrangements for turning your Love into Marriage or if the Arrangements are done, then you need Love after you get Married. In both cases, things will have to go hand in hand.
So, what do we know about these two by definitions? We know that a marriage is a Love Marriage when the people getting married decide and not much opinion from the family is considered apart from agreeing and otherwise we already have NGOs that help people who love each other get married when their parents don’t agree for it.
And what is an Arranged Marriage? When the parents decide about 90% of the marriage and the people concerned have one sole duty i.e. nodding for a yes and well, if it is a no then nod for a yes. Atleast, that is what I have seen in Indian movies and soap-operas. 😛
Now, back to the topic, both of them have their Pros and Cons.
When we consider Love Marriages, they have a lot of merits. When two people are already in an ongoing serious relationship, they would have many things in common. Their jobs, fields of interest etc. moreover, their lifestyles would be adjusted and in-sync if not same. So, that would help later when they decide to get married.
But being in love before marriage poses some fatal threats to the marriage too. For example, while you were in a relationship with someone for let’s say, two years and they know everything about you, you know everything about them and you get married and after some time, both of you or one of you start to feel bored as there is not much you can talk about and also, you were already giving your 100% in the relationship but after marriage your expectations are bound to increase while the percentage total still remains 100 and cannot go further, so, well Love Marriages too have their disadvantages.
On the other hand, when we look at Arranged Marriages, well at first its weird, you were told all your life to stay away from strangers and now you are expected to live with one but, that’s the fun thing, isn’t it? You have so much to know about each other and the best thing is that you start from scratch. You just know your better-half’s superficial personality, you have a lot to know. Going through the journey, getting to know little things about each other, learning from mistakes etc. can be fun. The shyness and awkwardness in the beginning, all of that is cute but then that only works if an understanding can be developed between two strangers and if it isn’t developed when it might sound rude but your life went to a big mess.
So, that’s that. In India, both kinds of Marriages work. Validity of a Marriage doesn’t depend upon just the type of marriage but rather the people, the financial and social conditions, behaviour, habits, understanding and many other things and as I said while introducing this post, Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage is the same thing with two different names, atleast in our country. 🙂
*This article was written for ‘Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage!’ contest conducted by Sony Entertainment Television and Indiblogger.in