Let me put this loud and clear, I respect women who respect themselves. This article is based on experience and nothing else. I don’t believe in the notion of respect all women because it is flawed (reasons for which will be explained below) but I am in no way a misogynist or someone who is against the free will and equality for women. So, I would suggest you read the complete article first after the title and disclaimer instead of going down to the comment box to label me a sexist without reading the blocks of text below.
The Feminism movement has gained more and more exposure on social media since the last five years or so. The fact is that the movement is now becoming nothing but a corrupted embodiment of a movement which once fought for positivity, equality and opportunity. Today, it is nothing but the answer for everything you say to girl aged between 11-20 years old. I’m not saying that all girls who fall into this group are using the movement for their own, little debates and for proving their arguments rather a generous lot is what I’d put into it. I have met intelligent girls who know the difference between equality and privilege and I respect them. I’ll try to put my point as clearly as possible.
Feminism began a very long while ago in the west but is still a little young in the east side of the world. I hail from India where I know girls and women don’t share equal rights and I believe it to be wrong. But, what I see around me is the absolute opposite of women striving for gender equality. Girls around me and some others on the Internet use the ‘If you say anything against me, you are sexist’ notion to end arguments. They’ll call you judgemental and categorising. They have become used to throwing words like that at men who aren’t debating but talking. It’s like it’s too dangerous to talk to or genuinely show care towards 50% of teenage girls because when you do, they’ll give you a whole lecture on why you are sexist and why you should learn to respect all women and their rights.
Respect All Women – What’s Flawed?
The notion to respect all women is good and well until it is over used and violated. The dignity is lost then. I don’t believe in respect all women in the same way I don’t believe in respect all elders. I believe that respect should never be expected rather earned. You need to earn respect but not earn it too. It’s like a scale where even if you stay on the Zero level or the Equilibrium level you’re good to go but if you lean toward the negative side, it’s a problem.
In other words, I’m not saying in any way that for me to respect a girl or a woman she’ll have to do something great, all I’m asking is don’t do something formidable on the terms of equal rights and feminism. I will try to illustrate this in an example from my recent trip to New Delhi and NCR below.
This incident happened on the last day of my trip when I was about to take the Metro train to the New Delhi Railway Station. Rajiv Chowk is the most busy metro terminal thus people are made to arrange in queues before the train arrives. Now this queue is unisex because that’s how it should be. Equal rights for all passengers. First come first serve, come early you get the front spot and so on so forth. We were all standing in the queue waiting for the train and then comes this woman who thinks she has her rights to not stand in the queue because she is female. She stands beside the queue creating yet another front spot and when questioned about this by a passenger waiting in the queue she says, “Main nhi hatungi yaha se, aa ke hata lo” (I will not move from here, come here and move me yourself if you dare) or something like that if memory serves right. The guard who was shouting instructions to all men couldn’t tell her to leave but he wanted to – his face showed that. He didn’t. Why didn’t he do it? Because if that woman would have been questioned yet again in the next five minutes she’d for sure create a situation and blame people for harassing her. He was afraid. Every other passenger was. Nobody said a word. She secured her seat.
Was this an act of gender equality? I don’t think so.
The second is not an incident but a habit which is yet again, wrong. Before the Delhi Metro had the provision of a separate coach for women it had reserved seats, two per coach, for women. After the separate coach per train was added the reserved seats were logically not removed. Why remove them? No point. But here arises a problem I saw in the 5 days I was in NCR. The separate coach for women is always half filled or almost empty. Why so? Because all women use the reserved seats in the coaches for men.
This isn’t totally wrong because those are reserved seats anyway until a woman who didn’t get into the separate coach even though it had space asks a male out of general etiquette to stand up and give his generic, not reserved seat. As soon as this happens all eyes turn to that male be it a student or an old man. Why?
What will he do? Will he fight for his seat? Why should he give his seat? Isn’t he tired? He looks tired. Hell, he is tired. But he can’t refuse. The women will start fighting then some pseudo feminist guy or teenager will click his picture and share it on Facebook with a big paragraph where he’ll be negatively insulted and as such. He has to get up.
The male gets up, despite that the female coach is empty or has space for maybe 30 more, the female wants his seat because of her sense of entitlement and privilege. This isn’t equality.
If a female does things like these or similar actions she goes to the negative of the hypothetical scale I mentioned. If she didn’t do anything and stayed as herself, I would have still respected her because she’s sensible enough to support an equilibrium but if she takes her sense of entitlement and applies it to places where it doesn’t apply by forcing gender consideration well, I won’t respect her. I am blunt that way but it’s the truth anyway.
Feminism fights for equality of all genders. Though I have always believed that a term which itself is inclined to one gender isn’t very just to the cause but that’s for another day. Today, you cannot show general concern towards a friend or sister because they will mark you and brand you a sexist, directly or indirectly. They will also tell you again and again why they have equal rights even if you agree on that because you are a certified sexist now. Say one thing against a female on the internet and the pseudo feminists with their faux concern over feminism will surround you and thrash and lash you with words you never expected to read. Worst part is you’ll start believing they are right.
Girls today use the argument of feminism to get their reserved spots even in places they don’t apply. The internet, social media, chat rooms and comments section are filled with these kind of arguments and I’m tired of it. Feminism is now a weapon for teenage girls to win arguments and to give some substance to their random first world problems.
The correct form of it simply goes like this, such as, if I’m not tired enough and not in need of my seat and a human is standing near, I will offer them my seat. I don’t care if it’s a male or a female. If I am not getting up that means I need that seat, I’m a human and I am tired. Now, if a female comes and stands near me creating that awkward situation where I have to make an eye-contact and be forced to offer my seat, I won’t be too happy about it because I was tired too. Thus, instead of promoting equality you just showed a male how women have started acting self righteously to get what they want.
I hope this article made sense. If it didn’t that means you just skimmed through the text because this article is being passed through 5 women (different ages) before being published. I in no way think I was wrong anywhere because I’ve planned this mentally since a long time.
Watch this video and if you’re sane, you’ll get the present situation of this world about equality of genders. It’s all nothing but double standards now.
Another video titled, Feminism 2.0 briefly illustrates the mistakes and damages caused by the feminism movement and the rectifications for a better, more successful and more happy society.